my story

my flight home was magic. God spoke to me.  He gave me a clear message that brought tears on the plane.  man i must have looked crazy.  He told me He loved me and that He has been waiting for me.  in that seat i felt a love I had never experienced, one i knew that i had no chance of earning.

i've been thinking a lot about life recently, about how i spend my time and how i can spend it more effectively.  as we flew over the most epic of clouds i was working through a book where the main theme is about telling a good life story.  the author differentiates between a great story and an epic near the end of the book, and his message hit home.

so i've spent a year now telling what i think is a great story. it has been full of new activities, great friendships, and hard work.  i regret none of it, not one moment.  now according to the book the difference between my great story and an epic is two fold.  in an epic there is a character striving for something that involves great risk and that thing they are striving for also usually centers around others.  in that moment it made since.  no wonder there was a feeling of emptiness to my great story.  there was no risk.  it was all about me.

so i apologized. i told God i was sorry for living a life that wasn't epic.  thats when He said he loved me, thats when he said it was ok because He's been waiting for me to figure it out.  i think God knows that we have to learn our own lessons and that it takes stubborn people like myself a while sometimes.

new year's resolution: add the elements of risk and others to my story.  do amazing things. make it cost something.  make it painful, and in doing so make it worth it.