Friendship

You know what...this place is changing me. I can see little shifts in my character since I've arrived it doesn't really bother me too much. Nothing about me has changed in a way I think I will regret in the future.

These little shifts are resulting from the people I surround myself with, let's call them my friends. Over the past few months, I've had some great experiences. There have been tons of smiles and lots of laughter with my work mates. I've also been as active as work has allowed, with a nice sunburn as evidence. I've been physically active, playing soccer on Tuesdays, and I've even been able to hang out at a community dinner on the back side of town just tonight. These experiences are a once in a lifetime, and I treasure them and live them to the fullest.

At the end of each day, though, there is still something missing. There's a hollowness that I cannot seem to fill, even though I know exactly what it is. I'm missing fellowship with believers. You don't realize what a powerful force that type of fellowship is - just to have best friends as believers - until you are without it on a day to day basis. It creates a common bond that is gripping intangible, and I miss it at the end of each day.

You see, this daily tinge of emptiness is a huge challenge to me. I know that I am put on this little earth to have loads of friends that know nothing of faith. I know that I am supposed to draw these people into the faith that I love, and I know that that will only happen if I have meaningful relationships with unbelievers. But frankly it's a massive challenge for me. I want easy friendships like the ones at home. Yet I know that that is not right either. So whats the solution?

The solution is a bit like this. I need to have a friend or two here like the ones I have known back home - folks that are like me, that I can be completely me around. That type of fellowship is a massive gap in my life right now and is something everyone needs. But - and it's a big but - I don't need to take too much comfort from this type of friend. I need to be motivated each day by this type of person to be exactly who I am, to boldy share who I am instead of trying to fit in. I need to wake up thinking of how to share my faith, of how to draw those outside of it into this inner circle. I need to be motivated not to find new friends but rather to help shape the people I already know into the people that can make me stronger. And on that thought I'm ending the night peacefully and with new motivation for tomorrow.